lemon and tequilla

Christmas beckons, and I am in a seriously fucked up mood. I am infatuated with my housemate, yet am unable to do anything about it; is a friendship worth sacraficing for the slim chance of love? Does she like me too? Jesus, women are the almighty deciders. If there was only someone that I could speak to about my problems, then it'd really be a great help.
I keep busy so as to forget my problems, forget the shit job that I have and all the friends that I don't. I go running, I read books, play sport, surf the net and listen to music. All to forget it all. Life is such a bitter pill.
Cambridge is. I have lived in this small bloody town for almost 2 years now, I have been through the thick and the thin of it all. Time has come for me to move elsewhere, a fresh start a new beginning. The things that I love about Cambridge:

• great for cycling, running, walking... if you don't like hills;
  
• small enough to get around easily;
  
• full of eclectic people, different cultures and multi-world people;
  
• some great arcitecture, fantastic buildings.
  

Things that really fuck me off about living here:

• lack of decent music scene
  
• no hills, white water, mountains, it ain't Manchester
  
• town too small
  
• lack of decent clothes shops
  
• mediocre arthouse cinema
• too many pretentious twats,
• tourists in the summer,

eating carrots... sure puts the perspective back into life. I shall get out of here... More soon on where I am going, hopefully in a happier happy frame of mind! How do you know when a bird is on the blob? I am finding it hard again to speak with S, and mope around like a brooding teenager when I cannot, waiting till she's around just for a sight of her beautiful eyes.